I’ve been looking through the Google searches that have led people to my website— and so far, “are butter menthols bad for dogs” and “Is there an inappropriate time for ham?” are my two favorite ones. “brady bud save our horny queen” and “bottoms summoning tops” are also top tier additions.

I didn’t even know butter menthols were a thing— but regardless of human or dog consumption, I’d wager they aren’t too healthy. As for the age-old question of whether it is an inappropriate time for ham— the answer is a resounding yes. Mid-funeral, any school bathroom, in a bouncy house, on the hajj to Mecca, at a pig farm (or maybe not on that one, depending on the owners), during a standardized test, any moment of seduction, and probably during an induction ceremony. The possibilities are endless for inappropriate ham times, so you have to ham it up in spirit, not physical substance.