My last tournament with my teams in Oregon ended with a loss. It marked the fourth successive loss of the weekend and tournament as a whole.

But what the boys got out of the weekend far surpassed the expectation that you’d have for a competitive level soccer tournament. It was the first time for many of these middle school aged boys to realize that sports are a conduit to predicting success in life. The caveat is that it’s not the inherently talented players that achieve success (although that’s common) but the players that are able to provide a full effort and give everything they have for a performance.

There are many moments in life where potential and perceived ability don’t coincide in the manner people expect it to. My goal for the boys wasn’t to win the tournament or even win the final game. It was to put forth an effort that they would be proud of. That would allow them to understand that sustained effort takes precedence over occasional flashes of heightened ability.

Adverse conditions can be instrumental to unveiling the core nature of someone’s personality. There’s significant evidence in post-traumatic growth— that signals the human ability to overcome, adapt, and ultimately thrive. While significant trauma and sports events are often not coupled with each other (thankfully). There are moments in sporting events where players are awakened to the possibility that they possess more ability, drive, or grit than they previously believed.

These moments are instrumental in the positive growth of these players as individuals. If you aren’t pushed to your limits or placed in adverse conditions and forced to adapt, you aren’t aware of what your capabilities are.

Soccer, for me, has been an incredible outlet for the exploration of character. I have always loved the game. I’ve followed multiple leagues such as the Premier league, Serie A, La Liga, MLS,NWSL, etc my entire life. I’ve played too many hours of FIFA & Football manager combined to be ultimately proud of. And I can’t count the hours I spent kicking the ball against the brick wall at my childhood elementary school. But all of it has led to continual moments of growth and understanding.

I’ll finish my career (for the time being) as a soccer coach in Oregon having coached five different teams— while spot lighting on a couple more. I love being at the field and seeing players grow. I receive the same thrill watching one of my youth development teams score that I do when my high school players do. I’ve jumped into the air and pumped my fists for both (with little shame).

Ultimately, I’m writing this to express my gratitude. I’ve been surrounded by incredible people. Both coaches and players. And I’m leaving with a happy, but heavy heart. I never would have expected that this is where I’d be at eighteen years old when I first received my national license for coaching. But I’m very grateful it is.