“I need you to look me in my eyes.” A gaunt cowboy says to a young, confused waiter. “Now spit in my mouth.”

“What?!”

“Oh, shit. My bad! Thought we were headed that direction.”

“Sir, this is a Denny’s.”

”Listen, bud. I’ve just driven thirty-six hours straight. I’ve got a six horse trailer behind a one and a half ton truck. I’m about to splash hot sauce on my eyes to say awake and I’ve been sucking on coffee grounds like I’m my own personal Keurig. Do you think I know where I am?”

“… To be honest, I’m surprised you’re not dead.”

”Fucking-A, me too, bud.”