It only took Evan pouring milk on his school lunch peaches for the popular kids to ostracize him. You’d think there would be more love for the classic combo of peaches and cream. But any wayward movement was enough to draw the ire of bullies at Rathmore Elementary. Evan, all sharp knees and elbows, didn’t have the social or physical grace to fend off the accusations of social noncompliance.

If only those fools knew they planted the seed for the deadliest murderer the world never caught. A poison milk epidemic swept the nation— with nary a glance at the peach eating milkman. A jaunty whistle and swing in his step, he resembled a manic scarecrow that found a dairy uniform. The good citizens of the suburbs were loathe to see heroes dressed in white.